MFBT can be challenging for many families, who in implementing the required interventions to guide their child to recovery, may experience distress at how the necessary firmness of interventions may impact upon familial relationships. A family I recently worked with repeatedly raised concerns over whether the course of treatment would damage their relationship with their daughter. In this particular instance, the anorexia coerced their daughter Mary to repeatedly threaten their relationship, stating that if her parents didn’t back off she would forever hate them and never speak with them again. This understandably caused considerable distress for Mary’s parents, who decided to make some tough decisions which their daughter might not like, but which ultimately would save her life.
At the end of treatment, this is the discharge letter Mary wrote to the anorexia.
GOODBYE! All you did to me was push away my loved ones and loose my true self. I was beautiful inside and out, but with you in my life I had doubt. You were one of the worst things that have ever happened to me. I know to never be your friend again. I lost myself, I just wasn’t me. But now that you are no longer a part of my fantastic life, and I realize the strength of love and life, and how anorexia tears people apart and love brings them together.
The pain I experienced is indescribable, I had no control and it was scary. I have been so unlucky to experience anorexia, but there have also been some of life’s lessons learned. I have learned to always look at the positive side of things. I have learnt that you only live once, so live life to the full. I have learnt family is what will save you any day and every day. I have learnt that sometimes you may feel like giving up, but giving up is never an option. I have learnt that in life you should try smile every minute of the day, laugh until you wet yourself, and love like there’s no tomorrow. I have learnt that life’s journey is tough but with friends and family beside you it is possible to pull through it. Having YOU ANOREXIA RUIN MY LIFE has made me realise how important it to live everyday.
I have learned that nobody is perfect, everyone is individual and beautiful in their own way so don’t judge yourself against others, because you’re as perfect as it gets. I’d like to say I hate you for everything you damaged! I don’t ever want to see your ugly face again. I suggest you NEVER EVER come back to visit me or my beautiful family, because it is bloody proven that my family can beat anything in life no matter how difficult, we just put our hearts and minds to it. So I ban you from coming anywhere near me, my family or friends. Life without you is worth living. You made me hurt so so much that I am scarred. Although the memories are painful, I don’t mind looking back on them to say I will never go there again! GOODBYE ANOREXIA you are ugly, selfish, hurtful, painful, and damaging and you make me feel sick! I am Mary and I am cured, I choose to love my family, friends and myself. You’re no longer present in my life. You do not exist! That’s right I said you do no longer fucking exist!
I am now stronger more beautiful and happy. I love my life! I love my family. Without my family I would also not exist. You kept me going. You kept my heart beating. You are irreplaceable. I cannot thank you enough for understanding. I know I have hurt you but I am deeply sorry. Because when you hurt, I hurt. When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you smile, I smile. So I say lets smile because life is a treasure, but the biggest gift of all is that we have each other. Thank you for being my family!
To finish this letter my last statement will be GOODBYE, GOODBYE Anorexia! YOU ARE NO LONGER A PART OF ME.
From Mary (Officially cured from Anofuckingrexia)