To get better you need a reason. I think you need to know what life do you want to have, and how do you want to live that life.
To wade through the mud of recovery you need to be able to set a course towards a destination where life without the eating disorder will be more rewarding than with the eating disorder.
One way that I try to help patients find a reason to get better is to help them tap into their "values", to what is important to them. This can be hard to do, especially if you are wired to focus on the details in life rather than the big picture. Looking at values is a very big picture question. That is why some people have trouble holding their values in mind.
To help people explore their values I find a number of things helpful. You may like to consider some of these questions. When considering them however, don't feel a need to jump to a conclusion. Feel free to "sit inside the question" for a while - ponder it for a bit.
A simple question may be "What kind of person do you want to be?" When these questions are asked the ED mind will probably try to jump in with 'thin' or maybe 'but I don't deserve to be that kind of person". Practice defusing from these thoughts, see them for the words they are. Let them pass and come back to the question.
"What kind of person do I want to be?". Maybe, "if the eating disorder went away, as if by magic, what person would I like to be?"
What sort of son? What sort of daughter? What sort of mother or father? What sort of team member, student, employer ….? Think about all the roles you play in life.
I try to get people to think about seeing their values in action.
How would you like to behave as a son/daughter etc. How would you like to treat people? This includes how would you like to treat yourself? If the eating disorder was not strong how would you treat your body?
Often people may say, "I want to be a good mother". Ask yourself, What are the qualities of "a good mother" that you would like to embody. Try to see your values in a behavioural light.
Clarifying our values can give recovery purpose and meaning. They are a crucial part of the choice point to eat regularly to a meal plan.
See if you can sit inside these questions to help you make the decisions that will move you towards recovery.
Best
Chris.
To wade through the mud of recovery you need to be able to set a course towards a destination where life without the eating disorder will be more rewarding than with the eating disorder.
One way that I try to help patients find a reason to get better is to help them tap into their "values", to what is important to them. This can be hard to do, especially if you are wired to focus on the details in life rather than the big picture. Looking at values is a very big picture question. That is why some people have trouble holding their values in mind.
To help people explore their values I find a number of things helpful. You may like to consider some of these questions. When considering them however, don't feel a need to jump to a conclusion. Feel free to "sit inside the question" for a while - ponder it for a bit.
A simple question may be "What kind of person do you want to be?" When these questions are asked the ED mind will probably try to jump in with 'thin' or maybe 'but I don't deserve to be that kind of person". Practice defusing from these thoughts, see them for the words they are. Let them pass and come back to the question.
"What kind of person do I want to be?". Maybe, "if the eating disorder went away, as if by magic, what person would I like to be?"
What sort of son? What sort of daughter? What sort of mother or father? What sort of team member, student, employer ….? Think about all the roles you play in life.
I try to get people to think about seeing their values in action.
How would you like to behave as a son/daughter etc. How would you like to treat people? This includes how would you like to treat yourself? If the eating disorder was not strong how would you treat your body?
Often people may say, "I want to be a good mother". Ask yourself, What are the qualities of "a good mother" that you would like to embody. Try to see your values in a behavioural light.
Clarifying our values can give recovery purpose and meaning. They are a crucial part of the choice point to eat regularly to a meal plan.
See if you can sit inside these questions to help you make the decisions that will move you towards recovery.
Best
Chris.
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