"They have sentenced me to death"
However, she is in love. In love with a partner who is seeing her through this and in love with her young niece. Sandra is beginning to understand the life she has lost and she wants to live now. She also fears she will have none of these things. The anorexia will rob her of this. She works hard with her therapist on looking at what she wants in her life and how the anorexia stops her from having these things. She has told her therapist recently that she is willing to "take the plunge" and gain some weight and ensure medical safety. She is trying hard at this as an outpatient, but needs more support. She is becoming motivated to change, but not being able to is sapping this motivation. We need to move quickly.
Sandra calls the private unit. Their most experienced therapist is away. The others do not want to take responsibility for her. She is too sick to come to a private psychiatric hospital, or she might become sick in the unit. She has not done well before and so, it is assumed, will not do well again. "We will not take you until you have gained weight". "She sits in groups and hasn't contributed"(fear does that to you sometimes) so "can't make use of the program". It is likely that the other private units will not take her for the same reasons.
Sandra rings her therapist "they have sentenced me to death".
Part of me can understand the hospitals thinking. I've been in the same position myself. Your timing really sux though. Maybe, just maybe, even a little maybe, Sandra was willing to make a small but significant shift. We will never know.
She is however actually medically stable according to those blood tests and ECG. This of course means that a bed in the emergency bed isn't available to her. One fears that this will change.
A call is put in to the regional unit. The phone is answered quickly, the therapists details are taken. The unit will get back to you. With a long waiting list though, any systems motivation to move quickly wanes. No call from the unit for 24 hours. Sandra will agitate herself and call the unit. Sandra knows there are some beds coming for the state. She is grateful for that. Maybe a bit late for her she feels.
The GP feels she is left with the sole medical responsibility for Sandra. When she took over care there was the backing of a specialised treatment unit. GP is understandably angry.
Her family will hang in there with her. They don't get to say 'too hard, too sick'.
Her therapist will also hang in there and, guided by the evidence out there, will keep working to help build and recognise the life that is worth working at getting better for.